Dear Tiffany,
I just received your text about how much fun you are having at the live viewing of The Hills finale - “Sorry but this is SO much fun! Red carpet and Usher is rehearsing!” I only LIVE for LC on Monday’s (yes I realize how absurd this sounds but it’s true and I don’t front) and would give my left pinky to be there, but really it’s ok that you didn’t invite me. I’ll wave to you from my sofa tonight. No hard feelings.
& next time I get free orchestra tickets to Kanye I’ll be sure to invite you again. Oh wait, that was you that got those tickets. Well, when I think of what I have to offer, I’ll let you know.Love,
Mari
Dear Mari,
Youre right. I am completely heartless at not taking you to the finale party. What was I thinking? Actually…what I am thinkking is how I housed you for way too long in my apt, catered to your u know what patch (on that head of yours) and heard you gripe & whine about nothing. Not to mention, 1/2 your nonsense is still in my apartment. I am about to go back to the Waiting to Exhale scene…where homegirl tosses out everything & lights it on fire.
P.S I took YOU to Kanye and in return you made me listen to Rihanna sing horribly with absolutely no rhythm and a cig in her hand that she never once puffed.
Source: maririvera