I am going to use my blog as an outlet (I know, cry me a river) but well…I have to get it off my chest. As most writers do (which I am not one) they express in their writings most of the things they cannot say out loud or to that person, so I will take on the glory and do the same. Ahem…mic check…

This weekend I got backed up in some corner and shafted man.

I have a bone to pick with you. you say you’re here to help yet go back on your words and end up making my life a living hell. I have to say, everytime you do this to me, it makes me wonder why you ever would think you could provide or offer support. Those 2 words dont leave people feeling shafted.

For those who act put out by “loved ones”- you’re really asking for what the world knows as “karma”. I shouldn’t preach it, and I shouldn’t also sound so wicked in my delivery but I tell ya- if you are someone who makes a loved one, especially family, feel like they are such a burden- I hope you stop yourself in your tracks before its too late. you’re about to lose the game cause you’re insulting your own team.

According to history- we hurt the ones we love the most. We procrastinate on working on ourselves to better our relationships with others. We wait till our kids grow up and curse you out on all the things you thought you got away with when they were 5 and thought you were the greatest thing.

I tell you- in my old age, I realize that its just better to rely on the Lord and do it alone. It could be seen as sad or strong but one thing I have learned- is that I have never been let down by God. In fact I am the only one apologizing for mess ups. He doesn’t tell me he is there to help me and then leaves me high and dry.

I was thinking while out in San Onofre this weekend how I reached a year in my apartment. I realized that to each month of my healing time in my apt is another month I realize I dont want your help anymore since you never keep your word. I hope you realize one day that someone saw this whole time…and He is way bigger than your empty promises.

I hate to sound so bitter and so dramatic but well…I needed to get it out.